Gone Too Long...Freedom!

I just looked at my last blog, and sadly the date was...well, it was way too long ago. April I believe (or was it March?). That is just too long to not connect myself to this world of reading and writing personal thoughts. I believe that I was ill last time I wrote (when I saw wrote, I mean typed, haha) and suppose I just got out of the habit after that. So much has happened since then, we have new members to our family (a dog), our entire house has changed (in color), Braedan is doing and saying all sorts of things...life is just...good. Most importantly I have been able to spend these few months Breaking Free.

I absolutely have grown to love Beth Moore, and it's not because she is some name that "every woman worships" no. In fact, I almost never even looked into any of her material because she was so big named and main stream that I figured what she had to say would be just as generic as anyone else on the market. I was so wrong. I was fortunate to finally find a Bible study with some women who I greatly appreciate, who aren't afraid to dig in, get dirty, and learn some truth and APPLY it, and of course make great friends in the process. This past study we did was entitled "Breaking Free" and it was tough. And it took forever. And I'm still working on it (even though the study is done, I have a week left). And I loved it! Beth Moore wrote this study based on much of her own personal experience, and I have discovered that what she had to say is so much better than what others have had to say because, well, she is/was just like me! I swear she was me about 30 years ago or so. She is so real, so personal, and can speak right to the heart. And the finger is always pointed towards God and not to herself. I had the chance to go to her Living Proof Live conference in May, and it was just amazing. (I will post a linky on the sidebar soon for the LPL blog. MUST READ!). And now I cannot wait for September to come because we are doing a live simulcast for Living Proof Live at our church, Ogemaw Hills FMC, and it will be just as amazing. She never speaks on the same thing twice, always changes from city to city. Very cool. Enough of my Beth Moore rant for now...but for those of you who have never read anything by her or have never heard her speak and you think we are all just fanatics and crazy...you won't get it until you "get it". Get it???

So back to life. We have a puppy, Kadie, who is now (let me check calendar for her age lol)... just a couple months old. She is a chow/lab mix (although she kinda looks a bit shepherd to me, but isn't). She is worse than a toddler with terrible twos! I am hoping we can stick it out with her till she gets past her puppy stage, but some days (make that most days), we just don't even want to deal with her. Braedan likes her as long as she doesn't bite or jump on him. She's starting to get big, so she can knock him over easily. She is pretty though. Hopefully this stage of life with her gets better (or she may be buried in the woods soon!!!!...that was a joke for all your super duper animal lovers who think I would actually do such a thing...I wouldn't).

Braedan is napping right now in his very own big boy full size bed : ). Of course at night we are still co-sleeping, but in his bed. This is just the beginning of transition and we will take as long as it takes. Bit hubby gets to enjoy some space in his own bed for now. I get to enjoy my bed too, for a few hours till B wakes and wants to cuddle to sleep. So I get the best of both worlds for now. Wouldn't change a thing.

Well, I am getting super hungry, so the oven is preheating and the chicken is seasoned with a garlic-herb rub soon to be cooking, and the balsamic vinaigrette carrots will be shortly on their way as well (unless I change my mind to make honey glazed carrots...haven't decided yet). Cannot wait to eat! Welcome back to the blogging world ME!!!

Braedan & Kadie enjoying food and a drink : )

And Then There Was Lent...

Today is Ash Wednesday. Yesterday was Fat Tuesday. I did not eat a paczki. The thought of one just made me feel nauseous. I guess the modern idea is to stuff up and then give something up during this time. When I was a child, I gave up chocolate once. It was the hardest thing I ever gave up, and I had half of my mother's freezer full of chocolate by the time Lent was over, and you know what? I could not hardly eat any of it afterwords! I guess my body had rid itself of that need. Although all of this is true, I now know what the Lenten season is about. 40 days (excluding Sundays for those of you who want to "cheat"...ok just kidding about the cheating). This 40 days before Easter represent many things. It represents the 40 years the Israelites spent wandering in the wilderness before coming to the promised land. It represents the 40 days Jesus spent in the desert being tempted of all sorts and he did not give in. It represents making a sacrifice as Christ made the sacrifice of Himself for our lives before He rose again on the third day...Easter Sunday as we know it. And the best way most of us know how to spend this 40 days is by giving something up of ourselves. Regardless of your faith or your religion, you probably recognize this time somehow. Even if it's just a small mention in a conversation. Our church doesn't really "celebrate" Lent, but I know that it has great meaning. So I have decided to give something up. Just because it is good to get into the habit of doing something to change a habit. I have decided to give up pop. (soda or coke for all ya'll who don't like the word "pop" haha). I could really do this at any time, but doing it at this time makes me focus more on it. Pop is so bad for me. I don't even really like it that much, but I find myself reaching for another can everyday. It makes my stomach hurt, it makes my body ache...because I choose to drink that forbidden d-i-e-t soda. Yep, I do. and I LOVE it! So hopefully I can keep my hands off the pop when I am out and about. Hubby is giving up pop to, and we are going to put all of our pop in the basement so it is out of reach because we have to think before going down there. Hopefully along with giving up pop I can start getting active of some sort and lose a little unneeded weight. That would be a great goal. But if nothing else, at least I will be a little healthier and maybe my body won't ache so much. It's not like I am giving up food or breathing or anything like that...this should be a piece of cake...right?

The Story We Find Ourselves In...

I have been reading lately, that is, when I get the chance, a wonderful book titled "The Story We Find Ourselves In" by Brian McLaren. About a year or so ago I read the first book in the trilogy ("A New Kind Of Christian"), and it was very eye opening into some of the postmodern theories and exploring the idea that maybe we have missed the mark somewhere, and maybe everything is not so black and white-type of thinking...and this book continues that even furher digging deeply into ideas of spirituality and faith and new understanding of biblical stories. And I am fascinated.

Thoughts From A Few Pages...

I just finished reading this book, "A New Kind Of Christian" by Brian McLaren. It was amazing, and it will change your view of how you look at Christianity and the Bible. One of the things I have realized is that we have to accept that we don't have any answers. We may not even be looking at the Bible through the right lens. We might think we know what something means, but who decided what that something meant, and how are we to know if that person was even right or way off track? I am learning that I need to be open, open to change, open to differing perception, open to a whole new way of understanding. What does it mean to follow and live like Jesus?

I am also in the middle of reading "Velvet Elvis" by Rob Bell, which also expands the mind to truth. We cannot spend our whole life building up a brick wall of unchangeable faith and doctrine, because the second someone challenges that and proposes the idea that there might be another way, a brick is removed and the whole wall comes tumbling down. Instead, we should be jumping on a trampoline, where the springs are our doctrine, the truths we believe, but they are not solid like a brick. The flex, they bend, they can form, they change. This is so important. Everything we know we learned from someone else, whether we think we did or not. We act certain ways because someone acted that way and we think it is right. Become open. Allow change. Allow questioning.

Our faith grows and lives in the questions that we ask. When we think we have it all figured out, we no longer need God. Questions are essential. We never have it all figured out. We may think we understand, but who are we to say that there isn't another way of understanding?

I want to be open, to different views, to different opinions, to different ways of looking at things. I want to be out of the box. Not someone building a brick wall. This must sound like unorganized rambling, and it may be. These are just thoughts going through my mind from these books. I wish I were able to describe more. The knowledge is in my memory, but I just can't put it all into words. The only way I can say it is I have been in awe lately, and have more of this desire to learn, to be, to live, for something new. I may not find it, but I am on the path to search for it.