When You Don't Get Enough Sleep...

It has occured to me that I have let my blogging slide again. Both blogs have been ignored for a few weeks it seems, and all due to the ongoing illness of my household. It al started with me just being plain exhausted, giving up trying to exercise, and dealing with random pains in my body (which I associated with the fibromyalgia and gall bladder issues, and boy was I wrong). I thought nothing of it, but was too run down to blog when I got a chance. Then, B started getting snotty (not snippy....green nose snotty) and coughing slightly. Then, all of a sudden on a Friday evening (about a week and a half ago), B woke up with that barking cough, you know the kind, where you pack everyone up and head to the ER to make sure he can breathe properly and doesn't have bronchitis or croup. Croup it was, and an upper respiratory infection. So a few hours later we were home again, home again, jiggity-jig...or something like that, but no sleep for us. No sleep for a few nights due to the horrible coughing. Me, on the other hand, I was still already exhausted from my bout of whatever was going on. I thought for sure I had an upper respiratory something as well (and I did) which had caused B's spur of illness in the first place, so we made doc appointments for the Monday following. Fast forward a few days.

Sure enough, I was sick. In fact, I have mono. No wonder I have been so darn tired! No wonder my throat and nodes are killing me! It's a miracle any dishes have made it to the dishwasher in a few weeks because I have been so run down my kitchen floor has dirt on it...literally. z-e-r-o--e-n-e-r-g-y. That's me.  So that is where I have been, sitting on my couch and trying to play around with my lil B who is fine and dandy now and poor boy doesn't understand why mommy isn't so energetic. So I am trying hard to chase him around and be happy mommy and play, but I am just overwhelmed right now and having one of those "moments"...you know, the kind where you just want to be anywhere but here (that is, anywhere as long as I am sleeping). I feel bad that I just want to be gone right now, but I have no energy, and haven't really actually slept good in a while, and I am tired. And today I expended more energy than I had by putting up a mirror, putting together a large shelf, making noodles, taking B with daddy to the eye docs, running around the house with B and now cooking dinner...and I am supposed to keep going? Speaking of dinner, I hear the chicken boiling over. All this to say, I have not left and I will be back with more life updates soon, soon as I have a bit more energy. Until then, happy reading!

Sleepless Nights.

It's 12:22am, and I cannot sleep. I tried to go to bed shortly after 10pm, listening to one of my hypnobabies tracks, trying to calm myself into a deep state of relaxation. Towards the end of my track I woke up, and somehow lost all trace of tiredness that I had. Tossing and turning, getting up, laying down again, I fought trying to sleep. My migraine has not helped. I decided to tune in to the soothing tracks of Shawn McDonald, calming my heart and reminding me of my passion for singing, for God, for desires, he sang, I listened. Still no ounce of rest.

I have had this headache most of today, and around 4pm it began to turn into a full migraine. During pregnancy of course you can only take Tylenol, so I drank a bit of caffeine instead. I couldn't even finish it. After I could take no more, I resorted to my happy pills...the ones that hadn't worked the last time I tried to take them. I ended up having to take two, and rest, and it still did not touch the pain. It's the only thing they gave me that was safe for migraines during pregnancy. And it fails me.

So here I am, now 12:27am, I have drank a small glass of milk, and I am typing on a computer with the brightness settings as low as I can get them and still be able to see, the rest of the apartment in total darkness...When will I be tired? I am tired, but I cannot rest. They say to try to get as much rest as you can now, because when baby comes, there won't be much of it. I haven't had much rest for the past several months anyway, so I suppose I could say I am a bit used to it. Of course it will be different.

The next two months are going to fly by, it seems. October 24th...the due date for my little boy. I can't wait for that time to roll around so I can see his face, look at him, hold him, play with him, and learn to be the best mother I can be. It will be a struggle, and a joy, and an experience like none other. I only hope I do a good job at it.

I think I will play around, do some editing on this site, and waste some time until I feel I might be able to actually fall asleep. 8am is going to roll around sooner than I would like, and I have a feeling that just as soon as I am finally sleeping peacefully, the alarm will go off, and I will have to sit through another day. That is life I suppose...You never know what you're gonna get...